Taste of what's to come...

So at my appointment on Friday had the most joyous experience..

.. My ortho had to reposition my brackets which involved taking the old ones off - not so nice, but it allowed me the opportunity to run my tongue over the 2 exposed teeth for just a few seconds! It was heavenly! Can't wait to experience de-bracing now even though it's a LONG way off.. but I know it will be worth it!

Looks pretty likely that the op won't be til around Christmas most likely. It's annoying because seems to be a lot of fine tuning going on now, that normally happens after apparently, but seems as though consultant prefers it all done before. I don't mind waiting, but I'm just worried about the timing etc as Christmas will only have a couple of weeks off for holiday (ie study leave) and then straight into exams. Naturally, would rather they get done over the summer when I have more time off. May voice concerns at next check-up.

Have had a rough couple of days, my mum has decided now that she's found out about how much I've suffered in the past, it's a great idea to try and push me to talk about it and brings stuff up at every opportunity, and always seems to know how to say the wrong things to upset me. Does anyone else have a hard time trying to voice how they feel about the whole situation? I guess that's why we all blog on here, so that's my question answered really..

I met a guy in the bar after our last exam on Friday and got chatting, and it transpired that he'd had a mandiblar retraction a couple of years ago, he looked so great! It was so nice talking to someone face-to-face about what he'd been through etc and really gave me some piece of mind. Still find it funny that anyone I'm gonna meet post-surgery will never have known my 'old' face..

Distractions...

So all is well with the world again.. What better way to distract oneself and cheer up than planning a party...

It's mine and housemate's birthdays in July (a long way off I know!!) And for a change think it's time to throw a big party. So we've decided to honour the timely theme of dressing up.. But wanted something a bit different so we came up with the idea of video games...

Now I know nothing about video games, but my other housemate is a dedicated gamer and so between him and net research, we have come up with a few ideas..

...Tifa from Final Fantasy 7....

.... Julia Chang from Tekken....

... Or Paine from Final Fantasy X

I cannot even begin to describe how excited I am already, I love dressing up!!! So if anyone has any thoughts on the final decision or any better ideas, let me know :)

..I'm still trying to convince my housemate to go as 'PacMan'. That would be hilarious....

Fed Up

I'm so bored of sitting in front of my books now.

As ever when things are weighing me down, it's manifesting as hatred towards my teeth. Seems so unfair to have to be going through all this. Just want it all done with, exams and surgery.

That would be nice.

Appointment on Friday, after my exam (so no celebrating for V..Well maybe just a little..). Let's hope there's no hitches this time. Not looking forward to having my brackets moved, I'm sure it won't hurt. Just hope that my teeth behave themselves...

Urgh. Should do some more study but am exhausted, time for bed methinks...

Powerchain club member..

Yes, that's right. Well, a mini powerchain just to close up the little gap from when they pulled me teeth apart to turn my canines. But she has put some ligature across the whole of the bottom row and it has actually imprinted itself on the inside of my lip and HURTS LIKE HELL. I look as though a bee has flown in and stung the inside of my lip. Not unlike a white, female version of Bubba from Forrest Gump in fact.. And not even with the comedy accent...

Also need to have some brackets moved but ran out of time so back in a month. Got to see my new casts though, seeing them next to each other really allowed me to see how much they've moved already! And aligning them to roughly how they will look post-surgery almost seems worth it...

Britton really helpfully posted a link after my last post, http://www.archwired.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=25578

and I wanted to share one quote from it:

"It's odd, but I think the face I see in the mirror now is more like the image of myself I saw in day dreams than my original face was."

I think I may have come across as someone obsessed with the idea of beauty in my last post, but I wanted to share this with you as it really struck a note. It's not even like I'm going through all of this because I want to become 'beautiful', I know that this can only come from within - if that was the case there would be plenty of other things to 'fix'! However, it is almost that I need to reconcile how I look in my head with the actual image you see in front of the mirror. I know that doesn't really make much sense but I really feel that it will give me some inner peace when the person that looks back at me is the person I'm expecting to see. I feel as though despite being so happy within myself, there would always be a small part of my life on hold until that happens, which is what pushed me to finally take the plunge.

Otherwise, life is good. I have my first exams in about 2 weeks which I fear the ostrich tactics of burying one's head in the sand may not have been the most useful.. So I am off to do some hardcore study!

I'm Back!

Hi all, sorry for the absence..

Well it has certainly been a busy month for V! Finally got round to moving out of Mum & Dad's again (after like 4 years of being home) which is why I've had minimal access to the net.. All good now though. So just the small matter of cramming all my schoolwork like crazy before the exams.. they're still a way off but there is so much to do!

I had an ortho appointment week before last... Managed to get the bigger wire on the top without problems, hooray! So no changing of bands... My ortho said that the bottom wire was now the highest spec we would go and the top should probably be the same not next visit, but the one after. She's been pretty happy with how they're decompensating. So I say 'What's next?' and she tells me that when the thickest wire goes on she'll take some more casts and we'll have an assessment about where to go next. Was weird seeing my old cast and how much my teeth have moved! Before I leave she asks if I'll wait and she'll just double check with the prof whether he's happy with the progress. So he comes over and she explains to him where we're at.

'Take the casts today.' Was his response... then they have a bit of a discussion along the lines of:

'Well there's usually a lag time with the surgeons, so if you've only got a couple of months or so of treatment left it's better to take them today and then have the clinic when you're ready and then they can put in the splint (still don't know what that is!!) and then it's surgery.'

Now I don't want to get too over-excited but I'm sure that sounds more like it'll be in a few months rather than Christmas.. Still, I didn't want to press her for info after the prof. left, because although I am impatient to get it done, I don't want to force it early if my teeth aren't ready. If I've waited nearly 25 years to get it done a few more months won't hurt, right??

So I'm trying to focus on it being Christmas but I can't help getting a bit excited that it may be earlier. We'll just have to wait and see I suppose.

Have been having a bit of a down time with it all again over the last couple of weeks though. Just looks so awful and my confidence is so low that I can't wait to have the surgery, even if the braces have to stay on for ages after and it is the scariest thing ever. Am a bit worried that maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on the improvement I'm expecting. I really feel like I'm waiting for it all to happen so I can just start my life afresh - that's how much of a big deal it is to me and am worried it won't make an ounce of difference to how I feel in the long run. What have been my post-surgery buddies experience of long-term impact? It'd be interesting to hear.

I think we can all safely say I need to spend more time focusing on study and not thinking about it all too much!!

Bonjela

I love this stuff, seriously. Along with wax. And mouthwash. Even though despite all these I STILL have a massive hole inside my lip that's been there for a week.. No doubt as to which way my teeth are moving though!!

I don't so much like having to give pointless presentations for school when I could be doing some productive work.

Like procrastinating and updating/reading blogs!! :)

Some pictures...

Hello all,

Thought it was about time I posted a few pictures, seeing as there aren't too many of us Class III-ers on here!!

Have a couple from before having my brace, including an absolutely horrific one where I was lurking in the background talking to a friend and got caught in the crossfire! I think everyone will have some kind of photo like that which makes them just feel a bit sick; I have to delete them straight away in a kind of quick-before-anyone-notices way.. funny really, but I forget that people see me in profile all the time so it's not really that big a deal. But still.. I would never have wanted to post it somewhere so public but I hope it helps support others and help us realise that being so insecure about something and wanting to change it when you have the opportunity is nothing to be ashamed of..!

Also have a couple of more recent ones, including one in a wig - what a fun night, but that's a different story - just to show that my pout is no longer good enough to hide that hideous crossbite!!