It's amazing how quickly things can change.
The Boy slept with someone else Thursday night so I finished with him.
The old V without imminent surgery would've sat and agonised over why it happened, and The Profile would've been blamed at some point.
I'm so glad that I can just shrug off the whole thing now. To be honest it was quite hard to open up fully to him about the whole thing and it really is a journey I've made thus far on my own, and think it's better in the long run if I finish it alone too.
Sounds depressing: but really, I feel OK about the whole thing.
Saturday, 31 January 2009
Saturday, 24 January 2009
Getting nearer...
I had my latest adjustment last week.
As Ortho and I were looking at our diaries for next appointment and making sure I had the right pre-op assessment days noted down, she said 'OK so next appointment is in February... then March.. But your work-up is March 23rd so we'll probably need to fit another one in between...'
And then it dawned on me just how quickly the time is flying by and how near it is until surgery (I know, I know, it's not until April, but appointment-wise there are only 3 or 4 left!) and I have shifted into being a little scared rather than just fed up as I have been for the last 18 months. In a good way, but it's still terrifying all the same. And after having waited for so long I still can't quite believe it's actually happening.
Then joy of joys she put back my old hardcore-heavy-duty wire (that was removed for the bracket readjustment when we went back to piddly little thin wire) and a power chain as the gaps had started to open up. It had been a LONG time since I had adjustment pain, I still can't quite bite down. Porridge was my friend that weekend (don't even LIKE the stuff!) and had to muddle through dinner meeting The Boy's friends (noodles again were soft enough, just took me ages). Spent most of the weekend panicking at the poor thing that if it is this bad now, what the hell is it going to be like when I have the surgery...
But all in all am feeling very positive and am so busy at school that I haven't been spending as much time thinking about it as I did over Christmas!
As Ortho and I were looking at our diaries for next appointment and making sure I had the right pre-op assessment days noted down, she said 'OK so next appointment is in February... then March.. But your work-up is March 23rd so we'll probably need to fit another one in between...'
And then it dawned on me just how quickly the time is flying by and how near it is until surgery (I know, I know, it's not until April, but appointment-wise there are only 3 or 4 left!) and I have shifted into being a little scared rather than just fed up as I have been for the last 18 months. In a good way, but it's still terrifying all the same. And after having waited for so long I still can't quite believe it's actually happening.
Then joy of joys she put back my old hardcore-heavy-duty wire (that was removed for the bracket readjustment when we went back to piddly little thin wire) and a power chain as the gaps had started to open up. It had been a LONG time since I had adjustment pain, I still can't quite bite down. Porridge was my friend that weekend (don't even LIKE the stuff!) and had to muddle through dinner meeting The Boy's friends (noodles again were soft enough, just took me ages). Spent most of the weekend panicking at the poor thing that if it is this bad now, what the hell is it going to be like when I have the surgery...
But all in all am feeling very positive and am so busy at school that I haven't been spending as much time thinking about it as I did over Christmas!
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