Thanks all for the incredibly kind comments. There are still up and down days, but on the whole they are up. I just wanted to make sure that you all know the full story - I can imagine it would seem as though it is too good to be true otherwise!
Thankfully I passed my exam (although only just scraped the first one).. so that's all good (for the very short time being).
I have also been doing some life-sorting... After realising nothing had really changed with certain friendships and relationships post-op I am saying the things I want to say and getting the result that I need, whether that be fixing things or binning destructive relationships. It's liberating but may be a little hasty. Still, I am much more confident in the thought of living with the consequences now I am post-op. Whether or not this makes me happier, we'll have to see in the long-term...
Sunday, 17 May 2009
Friday, 8 May 2009
Crashdown
Just a short post, because I don't want my recovery to seem one-sided.
I don't know whether it's tiredness, the trauma of finally having done my exam yesterday and freaking out about my ability as a potential doctor, or the dredging up of all my deep insecurities with my counsellor, but today I felt absolutely rotten.
It wasn't entirely unexpected, and is the reason I started going to see someone pre-surgery to talk through the issues, but I felt massively 'disappointed' today. Now the excitement of new-face and seeing people's reactions has worn off, it's back to normality. And things feel just the same as they did before. I think maybe it's because I haven't had a chance to exercise my new confidence just yet, but today I just felt hideously sad. I feel like my face is still swollen and looks ridiculous (I know it isn't). Don't get me wrong it is still the BEST thing I have done, but I think it's important to be aware of what your expectations are and how things will or won't change post-surgery. I'm glad I thought through this before I went under the knife, that's for sure!
Just goes to show, there's still a little way to go; once the swelling has gone and the braces are off it will be great!
I don't know whether it's tiredness, the trauma of finally having done my exam yesterday and freaking out about my ability as a potential doctor, or the dredging up of all my deep insecurities with my counsellor, but today I felt absolutely rotten.
It wasn't entirely unexpected, and is the reason I started going to see someone pre-surgery to talk through the issues, but I felt massively 'disappointed' today. Now the excitement of new-face and seeing people's reactions has worn off, it's back to normality. And things feel just the same as they did before. I think maybe it's because I haven't had a chance to exercise my new confidence just yet, but today I just felt hideously sad. I feel like my face is still swollen and looks ridiculous (I know it isn't). Don't get me wrong it is still the BEST thing I have done, but I think it's important to be aware of what your expectations are and how things will or won't change post-surgery. I'm glad I thought through this before I went under the knife, that's for sure!
Just goes to show, there's still a little way to go; once the swelling has gone and the braces are off it will be great!
Thursday, 7 May 2009
4 weeks post-op
Hey all,
Just taken a couple of pictures to mark one whole month post-op. It's the end of the day and I look a little tired and dishevelled, but hopefully you can see the swelling has come down some (though that pesky bruise is still there!)
Have also found my favourite soft-diet brekkie: Porridge with chopped up banana and plenty of cinammon... Yum!
Am also supposed to start exercising my jaw from today so am stretching a little in front of the TV... can almost get about 3 fingers flat in my mouth so it's looking good.
Just taken a couple of pictures to mark one whole month post-op. It's the end of the day and I look a little tired and dishevelled, but hopefully you can see the swelling has come down some (though that pesky bruise is still there!)
Have also found my favourite soft-diet brekkie: Porridge with chopped up banana and plenty of cinammon... Yum!
Am also supposed to start exercising my jaw from today so am stretching a little in front of the TV... can almost get about 3 fingers flat in my mouth so it's looking good.
Monday, 4 May 2009
3.5 weeks post-op
Hello all! I am still here and very much not forgotten about you all.... needless to say I am enjoying showing off my new face and so it has been a very busy week or so, and also back to school so haven't gotten round to posting or putting up any new pics (the latter I will try to do over the next couple of days...).
Things have been going well. I feel a LOT happier in myself, although it is intriguing, not knowing whether my face is going to stay this way, or whether it is still swollen and will decrease further. I guess time will tell. I had a combined clinic on Friday, and it was completely the opposite from the clinics I had before surgery, when I was super paranoid and unhappy with everyone analysing my face. This time everyone was just grinning lots, as though they were so happy with their handiwork (and rightly so). It also appears that I will be being de-bonded very soon (as in, weeks rather than months) which has caused no end of excitement! I guess it was worth having all the tweaking done beforehand and having to wait longer for my surgery (let that be a lesson to you folks waiting for it!).
I then had a braided wire put on the bottom teeth, and finally saw the ortho that has been doing my treatment as she had exams during the first appointment. I welled up when I spoke about how happy I am and she said 'You're not allowed to cry, you'll start me off!'. She has been an incredible support. It has been SUCH an emotional few weeks. The counsellor has been very helpful too over the last couple of weeks to address some of the underlying issues and I'd still definitely recommend seeing someone.
So all-in-all it has been good. It's funny seeing the reactions of people I know but it is also funny dealing with people that didn't know me before - for example a new girl in my group at school said 'You have something green on your face...' and I had to point out it was a bruise. And then explain the surgery. And then get the 'before' pictures out... I'd definitely recommend taking these and having copies on your phone etc for these kinds of situations. And even to help close friends remember what you looked before/appreciate what exactly was done.
I will try and take some pictures this week. The swelling has gone down quite a lot and the bruise has almost disappeared, so that in itself is an update...!
Things have been going well. I feel a LOT happier in myself, although it is intriguing, not knowing whether my face is going to stay this way, or whether it is still swollen and will decrease further. I guess time will tell. I had a combined clinic on Friday, and it was completely the opposite from the clinics I had before surgery, when I was super paranoid and unhappy with everyone analysing my face. This time everyone was just grinning lots, as though they were so happy with their handiwork (and rightly so). It also appears that I will be being de-bonded very soon (as in, weeks rather than months) which has caused no end of excitement! I guess it was worth having all the tweaking done beforehand and having to wait longer for my surgery (let that be a lesson to you folks waiting for it!).
I then had a braided wire put on the bottom teeth, and finally saw the ortho that has been doing my treatment as she had exams during the first appointment. I welled up when I spoke about how happy I am and she said 'You're not allowed to cry, you'll start me off!'. She has been an incredible support. It has been SUCH an emotional few weeks. The counsellor has been very helpful too over the last couple of weeks to address some of the underlying issues and I'd still definitely recommend seeing someone.
So all-in-all it has been good. It's funny seeing the reactions of people I know but it is also funny dealing with people that didn't know me before - for example a new girl in my group at school said 'You have something green on your face...' and I had to point out it was a bruise. And then explain the surgery. And then get the 'before' pictures out... I'd definitely recommend taking these and having copies on your phone etc for these kinds of situations. And even to help close friends remember what you looked before/appreciate what exactly was done.
I will try and take some pictures this week. The swelling has gone down quite a lot and the bruise has almost disappeared, so that in itself is an update...!
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